We go about once a week. They have a special area for Toddlers and we usually hang out there for a little while and then I let Harper roam about until we are ready to go. So, inside this little "children's museum" as they call it, there is a water area. It's not like a splash pad or really any way for them to come in direct contact with the water, but it does have little spouts & sprays that the kids can move around and "play" with the water. Harper loves it.
Now, let me preface this story by telling you about my husbands influence in my life. He has taught me a lot about control and the silliness behind it. I am a control freak to a fault, so he has helped me tremendously with the idea that controlling situations rarely benefits anybody involved. If you follow him on Instagram (@dbarnett29) you'll see his videos of Harper & his "adventures" wherein he basically allows Harper to explore the store, or mall, or wherever & he records her. So, initially this was hard for me. But she can't just take something off the shelf?! What if she gets in somebody's way?! What if she makes a mess?? His response? "She's not hurting anybody or anything. Let her be little." I learn this daily.
So, at the toddler area water zone, there was this 3 or 4 year old boy playing with the spouts. He even had one of the smocks on they have available. He was trying to shoot this stream of water onto this platform (I assume this is the design) but in the process was splashing a small mist of water onto himself. He was enjoying this. He was very concentrated on achieving his goal. His face was so sweet and he seemed to happy to be here, doing this. I thought to myself, what a wonderful thing! I hope Harper enjoys doing things like this as she ages. Harper gets bored and wanders off to another area and I hang back by the water area in case she decides to come back. The floor can be slippery so I stand by in case she needs me. The boy shouts "Mama! Look at this!!" There isn't a response. So, I say "hey buddy! That's awesome!" He smiles. In a few minutes he yells out again "MOM! COME WATCH ME DO THIS!" His mother comes around the corner, obviously stressed holding an infant, and yells very angrily at the boy to "QUIT GETTING WATER ALL OVER YOURSELF!!!!" He withdrawals, says "But, mama I'm playing!" She barks back "get your things!! We are leaving now." He begins to whine/cry & I slip away, going to tend to Harper.
Now, I want it to be so clear that I am *not* judging this mama. I have no idea what was going on in her day, or why she didn't want him wet. I don't know if she's been up all night or maybe her husband is deployed and she's worried about him. I don't know, nor should I! She had her reasons and I'm sure she's doing the best she can. And I'm not even sure what I saw was wrong!
What I saw in her, was a side of myself I fight daily. I saw a Mom that I could easily be. And I saw how grateful I am, that I am not. I saw Harper putting a ball in her mouth & instantly cringed. "OH YUCK. Don't put that in your mouth, Harper! That's gross!" Is what I thought. I wanted to take her ball away & even remove her from the ball area. But, I didn't. I thought *Let her be little, Hal.* I examined why I was afraid. I'm afraid she will get sick. Sick? Sick how? Sick with a cold or a virus? That's okay. She could also get that from you, from touching a door handle. Or from the toy car she's pushing. Germs are everywhere. She will be okay.
SHE WILL BE OKAY.
I gentle push the ball away from her mouth "That's not for mouths, silly bitty! We play with the ball with our hands! See? Let's throw the ball!! Throw it!" I say, as she giggles.
That's better, I think to myself. I'm proud of myself. And you know what? Maybe that other mom is too! And I hope she is.
Being a mother has changed the way I see the world so drastically. I learn from teaching Harper. I conquer fears I didn't even know I had. I learn to think *WHY* before I accept something as necessary or as fact.
I learn that no matter what you do, you won't please everybody. I've learned that being a mama is a personal journey and that each mom walks it individually. I've learned that grace, is always sufficient. But most of all, I'm learning to let her be little.
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