Why I care about breastfeeding

I'm told, or I see things all time about "feeding your child is all that matters!" And "Quit posting about breastfeeding, it makes those that can't feel guilty" or, my favorite, "I give my kids formula and they are JUST FINE." 

So, in an effort to not leave some super long-winded comment in response to these sayings I've decided to make a blog post about it. Share with EVERYBODY why it's important to me. And why I feel it's so important to share. 

My story starts before Harper was born. I was researching natural birth, I knew I wanted an unmedicated birth, and oh, of course I would breastfeed. My mom nursed all of us! Easy. 

Then, the day came! I labored on Pitocin for hours & hours & finally, I pushed out the most beautiful little baby girl. She cried and I cried. She was perfect! They quickly did her vitals and handed her back to me. The nurse asked gently "do you want to nurse her?" Uhhhh....yes! Sure! I took my baby and just put her mouth to my breast. Do yo thang, girlfriend! The sweet nurse who I'm sure thought I was kidding at first, said "ooook, mama, you're gonna have to help her! Hold your Breast like this, and help her latch." Fumbling around I thought Hm, okay. She latched & nursed a few sucks and pulled off crying. I tried the other side, and same thing. 

Must not be hungry, I thought. 

I moved to the postpartum room & david went with Harper to the nursery for her check up. They asked me if I wanted to see the Lactation Consultant when they brought her back. I shrugged, "sure?" They wrote it on my chart. Harpy came back & I tried to nurse her again. Same thing. About this time, a nurse came in. Told me to write down how long I nursed on each side every 2 hours on this log. I continued to try to nurse her every hour or so, while she fought & screamed at me. The next day, the nurse came in. I said shakily "she's having trouble nursing. I need help." She told me she would request the LC for me & she should be by later. My OB came by to see me. Told me everything looked great & I could go home at 6 pm (24 hours from birth). Okay! I said. Excited to go home with my baby. Nursing was continually frustrating. 

About 5 o clock, the LC came in. She roughly positioned my Breast and pushed Harper's face aggressively into it. 

"Ugh! Latch baby!" She said. 

She's been doing this a lot, I quietly offered. 

"Let's try this trick." She said, as she poured sugar water on my nipple. Harper's face pushed into the boob again & it worked! She latched! For about 30 seconds. Screams again. Same trick again, no avail. 

"She's stubborn, this one." The LC says. 

"I may have to give you a nipple shield."

"Oh...okay. I'd really hoped to not need one of those." I said. 

"Okay! You keep trying. Call me if it continues for a few days." 

We leave the hospital with some bottles of glucose water (and some formula samples *just in case*) 

At home, the fight continues. I'm panicking. She's not eating! She's starving. I'm failing. I can't fail. Please don't fail. 

David tells me to keep trying. She will eat when she's hungry. 

I sit on my bed. Surrounded by pillows and boppys. I'm sticky from pouring sugar water all over myself to help her latch. I even give her a little on my finger, in hopes she can quench her thirst. She sucks my finger ravenously. "David!" I plead, "why won't she eat?!" My nipples hurt so bad it makes my toes curl. They are blistered and warped and they hurt. 

I call the hospital LC. She's not eating, I cry. She tells me to give her 24 hours & to closely track her diaper count & call back. 

I start googling. Maybe somebody can help me figure out why she won't latch. I read things about developmental milestones like rolling over or crawling. Nothing applies. Nobody can help me. 

My milk comes in. I call the LC. She tells me she's busy, and she will text me that night. Now, I'm trying to nurse my screaming and hungry baby with milk pouring down my chest and belly. Everytime she does latch it hurts so bad I can hardly stand it. Once the milk is in, she does latch better. But only for short spurts and inconsistantly times. I take her for her weight check at Dr. Reese. She's lost more than 10% of her birth weight. I beg for a few more days. My milk isn't in yet, I cry. 

My mom tries to help. I'm so frustrated. Just give her the formula, I guess. 

David stops me. Call the LC just one more time. I call her. While I'm waiting, my mom calls my cousin who recently breastfed. She tells my mom to go get me a shield. My mom runs down to the store & brings back a baggy of nipple shields. I refuse. Those are bad, they won't nurse without one! David says "at least she will be nursing." 

I agree to try it. It's my final shot. I put it on. My milk fills the little shield. My mom hands me Harper. I don't even have her situated yet & bam. She's gulping. She's nursing and nursing and nursing. I start bawling. "look! Look at her nursing!" Everybody is so happy. And I sit and nurse my baby. It still hurts, but she nursing. 

Hours go by. Around 9:30 at night the LC calls me back. I tell her we got a shield and it's helping tremendously. She tells me that's fine and watch her diaper count. I ask her why it still hurts so much. She tells me that my nipples are just messed up from me trying to get her to latch and they will heal with use of the shield. 

We go for her 2 week check up. They put her on the scale. I hold my breath. Please. Please. Please. She tells me she's gained some. But isn't up to birth weight yet. I explain our latch issue but the shield is helping! Please give me some more time. She agrees. Bring her back in a week for a weight check. 

I nurse around the clock. I rarely set her down. We nurse for hours and hours. I'm so happy and so worried. What if it's not enough? What if I've started off so bad we never recover? I buy the book "The Motherly Art of Breastfeeding" as recommended by LLL. It's 1000+ pages. I read it in its entirety in 2 days. It's now, and only now, I realize I should have done my research before Harper was born. So many of the mistakes I made could have been avoided. 

Next week comes. A huge snow-storm blows in & we cannot make our weight check. They tell me to wait until her 1 month appointment the next week, unless there is a problem sooner. 

We go in for her 1 month. They weigh her. I pray. 7 pounds 14 ounces. Birth weight. I'm happy. The Doctor expresses some concern. She's only in the 3rd percentile, your supply may be low. They tell me to pump after every feed. 

I do. My nipples are still healing from the trauma the first few weeks. The pumping rubs awful blisters on my nipples. Try lanolin on the pumping flange, google says. It helps some. I'm barely getting any milk out, though. Maybe an ounce total. If I pump for an hour. I try different flange sizes, different positions, coconut oil. 

After I start pumping after every feed I notice Harper is nursing more frequently. She's nursing at times for 7-8 hours at a time. Non-stop. That's fine by me. But when do I pump? 

I google supply issues. I'm assured if her diaper count is okay (which it is, by a lot) that she's getting enough milk. I relax a little. There are days I nurse her around the clock without a break. We nurse. And nurse. If we leave the house I wear her in her wrap with my nursing cover over it. I'm embarrassed to nurse uncovered. I feel like I'm suffocating under all the layers. Harper doesn't seem bothered by it, (yet) though. 

The past two weeks I have felt an ache in my calf. It's worsening as the days go on. On Harper's 1 month birthday, I make an appointment with my OB about my calf. He's afraid it's a clot. I go to the hospital. They do a doppler. It's not just one, but several blood clots. DVT. I see the vascular surgeon. He asks me to wean. I beg him no. He doesn't understand why, but agrees to treat me with Lovenox so that I can continue nursing. I give myself 2 injections in the belly every day for 6 months. The bruising and the pain from the shots make nursing uncomfortable, but I don't quit. 

We go in for her 2 month check-up. She's gained weight. Still only in the 7th percentile. But I'm happy. They tell me I can give her formula or Breastmilk but I need to supplement 4 ounces a day. Harper starts sleeping from 12-4 at night at this point. Her longest stretch of not nursing. So, after I'm able to lay her down, I get up & attach myself to the pump for 2.5 hours to get 4 ounces. I learned how to get the most out of pumping. I lean forward, I do breast compressions. I work for it. I put the milk in the fridge, I clean my pump parts and I lay down for 30-45 minutes before Harper is ready to feed again. 

This continues for the next 3-4 months. 

Fighting clogged ducts and thrush from the shield during this time. Taking a shield everywhere we go. Sanitizing shields. Buying shields. 

Around 5 months old, Harper starts resisting her latch again. Scarred from our previous experience I'm determined to be pro-active. I try nursing in different positions. With pillows, without pillows. Quiet. Dark. Etc. Then, one time while I'm repositioning us and trying to get the shield on, Harper reaches up & removes the shield from my breast & latches on. 

Oh. Well. Okay. 

I let her nurse without the shield as long as she'd like. Eventually she fusses & I put it back on & she nurses well for the rest of the feeding. This continues for several weeks. My nipples begin to blister and bleed again. It hurts so badly. But I'm not quitting now. 

I call an independent IBCLC (a very expensive one, mind you!) and she comes over one night to my house. She's calm and gentle and so smart. She looks in Harper's mouth.

"Oh sweetie. She's lip and tongue tied. That's what caused the latch issues and that's what is causing the pain now. You can take her to this doctor in Dallas and he will revise them. It's $3,500."

Ouch. I can't afford that. And even if I could? Is it necessary? I research. I reference my books. I call dentists and IBCLC's all over. It's very mixed. Some say it's worth it. Some say it's not. I decided to save up for 2 months to do it. In the meantime, I work on her suck and do exercises to help stretch her ties. 

The next two weeks are handedly the worst of the entire nursing experience. I have blisters covering my nipples and when they burst they scab. I cannot stand the pain to pump any more. So I nurse her as often as she will take the boob. Tears fill my eyes everytime she latches and it takes my breath away from the pain.  

Then, after two weeks, it gets drastically better. Her latch improves. I'm able to work with her to position her mouth better. The blisters heal, the scabs go away. 

We go in for her 6 month check up. At 4 months, she was 10 pounds and in the 6% for weight. At 6 months she is 19 pounds & 87% for weight. Dr. Reese is floored! Way to go, she says. I am so happy. I did it! I cheer! She's fat!!! I prayed and prayed and prayed for her to be fat!!! Thank you, Jesus!!!! I'm elated. 

Life gets so, so, so much easier at this point. She has great head control and we aren't using the shield anymore. We can co-sleep safely now. She nurses often in the night, but I'm able to fall back to sleep easily. Life is good. And easy as I could have ever imagined. 

We nurse through a couple ear infections, a cold and a stomach bug. All of which the only way I could get her to take her medicine was while nursing. It was a messy affair. 

We go on. Her 1 year birthday approaches. She's enormous & off the charts for height and weight. On the eve of her first birthday, I lay nursing her in bed. I'm overcome with emotion. WE DID IT, baby girl. I tell her. We worked so hard! We fought through every issue. And here we are. 

Even today, at 20 months, I cannot believe we are still breastfeeding. I never thought I would make it. But, we did. 

But, I share a link about breastfeeding and I'm chastised for making another mother feel guilty. I talk about the importance of breastmilk and why "just giving formula" is not always that easy for a mama and I'm told I'm playing the "Mommy Wars" and everybody is different. 

I worked my ass off to feed this baby. And I had every single opportunity and excuse to quit. And I didn't. And I will never quit preaching about how amazing breastmilk is. Because that is why I cried. That is why I bled. That is why I sacrificed. And I want every mother out there to know that even if it's not easy, ITS WORTH IT. It's worth it a million times. 

And if you chose formula, I do not shame you. I applaude you for making a decision that you felt was best for your baby. I hope you stand behind your decision to feed your baby as fervently as I do mine. I hope you weren't lied to, I hope you didn't quit before you were ready. If that's the case, my heart hurts with yours. But please know that feeding is more than food. Feeding your baby is a chance to connect, and love, and rest. You can do that with any way you feed. Even if that's a tube, bottle or a boob. 

Feed with love, mamas. 

And to all you struggling with breastfeeding, PLEASE DONT GIVE UP! It gets so much better. There is usually a solution to any problem you're having. It may take a ton of effort on your part. But,  you will not regret it, I assure you! 

Peace, love & milkies! 

Hallye

Letting her be little..

The other day I took Harper to the Science Spectrum here in Lubbock. 

We go about once a week. They have a special area for Toddlers and we usually hang out there for a little while and then I let Harper roam about until we are ready to go. So, inside this little "children's museum" as they call it, there is a water area. It's not like a splash pad or really any way for them to come in direct contact with the water, but it does have little spouts & sprays that the kids can move around and "play" with the water. Harper loves it. 

Now, let me preface this story by telling you about my husbands influence in my life. He has taught me a lot about control and the silliness behind it. I am a control freak to a fault, so he has helped me tremendously with the idea that controlling situations rarely benefits anybody involved. If you follow him on Instagram (@dbarnett29) you'll see his videos of Harper & his "adventures" wherein he basically allows Harper to explore the store, or mall, or wherever & he records her. So, initially this was hard for me. But she can't just take something off the shelf?! What if she gets in somebody's way?! What if she makes a mess?? His response? "She's not hurting anybody or anything. Let her be little." I learn this daily. 

So, at the toddler area water zone, there was this 3 or 4 year old boy playing with the spouts. He even had one of the smocks on they have available. He was trying to shoot this stream of water onto this platform (I assume this is the design) but in the process was splashing a small mist of water onto himself. He was enjoying this. He was very concentrated on achieving his goal. His face was so sweet and he seemed to happy to be here, doing this. I thought to myself, what a wonderful thing! I hope Harper enjoys doing things like this as she ages. Harper gets bored and wanders off to another area and I hang back by the water area in case she decides to come back. The floor can be slippery so I stand by in case she needs me. The boy shouts "Mama! Look at this!!" There isn't a response. So, I say "hey buddy! That's awesome!" He smiles. In a few minutes he yells out again "MOM! COME WATCH ME DO THIS!" His mother comes around the corner, obviously stressed holding an infant, and yells very angrily at the boy to "QUIT GETTING WATER ALL OVER YOURSELF!!!!" He withdrawals, says "But, mama I'm playing!" She barks back "get your things!! We are leaving now." He begins to whine/cry & I slip away, going to tend to Harper. 

Now, I want it to be so clear that I am *not* judging this mama. I have no idea what was going on in her day, or why she didn't want him wet. I don't know if she's been up all night or maybe her husband is deployed and she's worried about him. I don't know, nor should I! She had her reasons and I'm sure she's doing the best she can. And I'm not even sure what I saw was wrong!

What I saw in her, was a side of myself I fight daily. I saw a Mom that I could easily be. And I saw how grateful I am, that I am not. I saw Harper putting a ball in her mouth & instantly cringed. "OH YUCK. Don't put that in your mouth, Harper! That's gross!" Is what I thought. I wanted to take her ball away & even remove her from the ball area. But, I didn't. I thought *Let her be little, Hal.* I examined why I was afraid. I'm afraid she will get sick. Sick? Sick how? Sick with a cold or a virus? That's okay. She could also get that from you, from touching a door handle. Or from the toy car she's pushing. Germs are everywhere. She will be okay. 

SHE WILL BE OKAY. 

I gentle push the ball away from her mouth "That's not for mouths, silly bitty! We play with the ball with our hands! See? Let's throw the ball!! Throw it!" I say, as she giggles. 

That's better, I think to myself. I'm proud of myself. And you know what? Maybe that other mom is too! And I hope she is. 

Being a mother has changed the way I see the world so drastically. I learn from teaching Harper. I conquer fears I didn't even know I had. I learn to think *WHY* before I accept something as necessary or as fact.

I learn that no matter what you do, you won't please everybody. I've learned that being a mama is a personal journey and that each mom walks it individually. I've learned that grace, is always sufficient. But most of all, I'm learning to let her be little. 

 

Babywearing Info

So, people message me often asking about various baby things. Breastfeeding, birthing, pregnancy, etc. I absolutely LOVE that, by the way. I love talking to you mamas (and mamas to be!) about gentle parenting, natural living and crunchy stuff. But, probably one of the most common questions I get asked is about babywearing. I really love this subject in particular. Why, you ask? Because EVERYBODY can do it! Doesn't matter what your baby eats, how your baby was born, etc. The 'mommy wars' need not apply here. And I love it.

But I'll be honest. The world of babywearing can be a little overwhelming, and even I don't have a solid grip on all of it (I have friends that do, though!) But I figured I would make a post that I can direct my mama friends to when they ask about carriers. This is more a 'catch-all' and helps give you an idea of the DIFFERENT kind of carriers out there, every mama and baby will be different in what works best for them. I encourage you to read this, figure out you find fits best for you, and message me! I'm always happy to help clarify the grey areas or at the very least point you in the direction of somebody who can. I will put pros and cons next to each type of carrier as well.

I would first like to address the 'narrow-based' carrier (like a bjorn carrier). These are still wearing your baby, and if its what you have and it works for you, then AWESOME! I encourage you to use it, to hold and wear your baby and keep them close. But, for those looking to purchase, these carriers can be quite uncomfortable for both baby and mama and they are difficult to use correctly. This photo gives a simple explanation as to why they aren't recommended by the "seasoned" baby-wearer.

Bjorn on the left, ergo on the right.

I also don't recommend the "forward-facing" carry for the reasons described in this post, here.


So, lets begin shall we?

1) Wraps - 

Woven Didymos Wrap

Moby Wrap (Stretchy)

Solly Baby Wrap (Stretchy)

There are essentially two different types of wraps. Both of these are large pieces of either stretchy or woven fabric that you learn to tie in different ways. The difference will be in the longevity of the wrap and the price point.

In order to make this easier I will break both down into pros and cons.

A.) Stretchy Wraps


           These are your typical Moby or Solly Baby wraps. These are ideal for the squishy sweet brand new baby. They are easy to find & order. They are soft and easy to learn to wrap with because the stretch provides a forgiving 'margin of error'.

Pros- Easy to wrap with, comfortable, not very pricey, lightweight, can easily be folded up and stuffed in a diaper bag. Nursing can be done easily and discreetly.

Cons- There is really a very small variation of carries you can safely do with this type of carrier (and all are belly to belly) so this limits what your baby can experience while being worn, and that can cause baby to not enjoy being wrapped as much. (We dont ever recommend baby facing out, more on that at the end.) Also, these have a weight limit of 35 pounds but as baby approaches the 15/20 pound mark or 5/6/7 months old the stretchy wrap begins to sag some and this can create all sorts of safety and comfort issues. So, in essence these wraps are really only wonderful for the early stages.

Links to buy -
Moby Wrap
Solly Baby Wrap


B. Woven Wraps

          These can be a source of confusion. Although very popular almost everywhere else in the world, the good ol' USA is slow to the woven wrap scene. This makes it difficult to find and purchase these lovely pieces of fabric. But, if you are interested in a woven wrap, PLEASE message me and I can help you find several different ways to get you one!

Pros- Hundreds of different carries can be accomplished safely with a woven wrap (including back wraps, hip carries, breastfeeding carries, etc.) These wraps will last from the day baby is born until they cannot (or do not WANT) to be wrapped anymore. This is a 'one-time' investment that will last you through your entire wearing experience if that is what you desire. 

Cons- There can be a pretty substantial learning curve for wraps. If you are in an area that doesnt have a babywearing group that meets regularly you will likely be learning these carries on youtube. This can prove for some frustrating trial and error but it is certainly not impossible.
.
Links to buy-

Didymos (Please message me if you'd like to buy a woven and I will help you find a good deal and a good wrap) 

2. Ring slings

Sakura Bloom Ring Sling

Ring Slings are wonderful. They come in two different 'styles' if you will, one being a 'ready-made' and the other being a wrap conversion. So, all a WC (wrap-conversion) sling is, is a woven wrap from above, altered to be a ring sling. There is not a real big difference here other than personal preference. There are some really beautiful WCRS (wrap conversion ring slings) but they will almost always be quite a bit more pricey.

Wrap Conversion Sling

Pros- Ring slings are very easy to use, wide range of prices, easy for quick up/downs when baby is older. It will last through toddlerhood if you want it to.

Cons- Only a couple safe carries (hip and belly to belly) for the inexperienced wearer. When baby gets big (or huge, like mine) they can be a little less comfortable for long wearing experiences. They seem to be best suited for grocery store trips and short walks. But, that is a personal opinion and you may find it comfortable to wear baby for hours-on-end with no complaints!
Links to buy-

Sakura Bloom
Message me if you're interested in a WCRS and I can point you to a good place to purchase.


3. SSC (Soft structured carrier)

The SSC is sort of like the catch-all for babywearing. It's pretty fool-proof and it can be super comfortable when done correctly. These carriers are great for things like hiking, amusement park wearing, long walks, etc.

Pros- Our kinderpack is my favorite thing ever for the age Harper is now (17 months) she enjoys it, and it's incredibly comfortable. It can be worn front OR back, is good for long or short trips. Wide range of prices.

Cons- There is a limit to how much you can adjust a SSC so some people prefer the wrap so that each carry can be fit exactly to you and babies dimensions. While a SSC can be used for an infant, they are widely preferred by older babies that have solid head control. They also do not grow well with baby in all cases and you may need to purchase different sizes as baby grows depending on the fit you like and the carry you prefer.


Links to buy-

Ergo
Kinderpack


So, this is pretty much the summation of the different styles of carriers. People often ask after all of this. "Oh, okay, so....whats your favorite?" It really depends on mama and baby, but if I had to pick just one, it would be the Kinderpack, for SURE!


I hope this post helps some of you clear the air on babywearing and keeps your sweet babies in your arms and not on top of your shopping carts :)

Blessings, love, prayers and kisses,


Hallye

Why you should have a Doula

So, you're pregnant. You want your birth to calm, easy and informed. You want someone to ask questions and you want someone there that can support you in addition to the support you may already have. You find yourself scared at times or unsure of how certain things are going to go. You're googling and coming up short in what you can expect. Why not hire an expert? You need a Doula!

Let's talk about what a doula is and why it's SO freaking important regardless of how you birth, what you want from your birth or how great of a support system you have. A doula is defined by DONA International as having the following traits.

• Recognizes birth as a key experience the mother will remember all her life
• Understands the physiology of birth and the emotional needs of a woman in labor
• Assists the woman in preparing for and carrying out her plans for birth
• Stays with the woman throughout the labor
• Provides emotional support, physical comfort measures and an objective viewpoint, as well as helping the woman get the information she needs to make informed decisions
• Facilitates communication between the laboring woman, her partner and her clinical care providers
• Perceives her role as nurturing and protecting the woman's memory of the birth experience
• Allows the woman's partner to participate at his/her comfort level

Your birth is yours to rock. But almost everyone I know that has been pregnant and knows how much I love pregnancy and childbirth has texted me and messaged me throughout their pregnancy wanting to know things like "How I didn't have an epidural" and "What should I do to prepare myself for birth" and things of that nature. These are all excellent questions that by the way, I do not mind in the very slightest to answer for you guys. But I'll be the first one to tell you, I'm not an expert on the subject. I have my experience and the knowledge I have accumulated in the last couple years from reading articles and researching but I have had no formal training in birth or breastfeeding or anything of the sort. A doula HAS! She is an expert. She is a wonderful, beautiful, lovely resource for you during your pregnancy AND your birth. She has likely attended a large amount of births and has tons of experience. She is not there to replace any of your supporters. She is not there to intervene or pressure you into anything you don't feel comfortable with. In fact, the word Doula comes from the ancient Greek word meaning "woman who serves". She is there to HELP you succeed. And as amazing as our Partners, Husbands, Moms, Best Friends, etc. are, they simply are not experts on supporting laboring women (and I'm sure they would admit that to you, too ";)) 

So...what's the proof, yo? If you're like me, this is where you're all "YA WHATEVER MAN. I know I can do it and I dont need no hired help."

I feel you. I do. And you know what, I DID. I did do it. It went as well as I could expect for an induced first time mom. But, if I could go back....if I could do it again...I would pay any amount of money, or give any resource I had to have a doula. Please don't regret your birth. Let's talk about the evidence though.

I highly recommend reading THIS article as well as everything else from Evidenced Based Birth because they are phenomenal. But here's the summary for all of you TLDNR (too long did not read)er's.

For most of these outcomes,* the best results occurred when woman had continuous labor support from a doula– someone who was NOT a staff member at the hospital and who was NOT part of the woman’s social network. When continuous labor support was provided by a doula, women experienced a:

• 31% decrease in the use of Pitocin*
• 28% decrease in the risk of C-section*
• 12% increase in the likelihood of a spontaneous vaginal birth*
• 9% decrease in the use of any medications for pain relief
• 14% decrease in the risk of newborns being admitted to a special care nursery
• 34% decrease in the risk of being dissatisfied with the birth experience*

Hmm! That's pretty amazing stuff. And in my opinion well worth the price of a doula. Most of our area doula's have a price tag of $300-$1000 depending on what she offers and other factors. If your first reaction is NO! I CANNOT AFFORD THAT. Don't be so sure. Approach her and see if she will work with you on price. Or, divide her fee into a month amount and save up to pay her before labor. Or, maybe pass up some of those "essentials" (like a crib, baby swing, jogging stroller, etc) and put that money toward a doula. If it's important to you that you enjoy your birth experience this is one of the most fundamental ways you can do that. I have attached several local doulas information below. I pray you check it out. I pray there is never a woman that feels alone in her birth, ever.

http://www.lubbockdoula.com/
http://www.heartforbirth.com/
http://www.hubcitydoula.com/

Did you have a doula? Did it effect the outcome of your birth? Let me know your story :)

An Open Letter to Obamacare Supporters

So, let me start this off by saying that I'm not complaining. Or, at least I'm not trying to complain. I fully acknowledge there are those out there much worse off. I'm healthy, happy and I live a very fulfilling life that I enjoy to the fullest. This is an attempt to show the difficulty the 'middle class' has in American society today. It's to shed some light on the 'in-betweener' world that we are so thankful to be a part of.

If you're new here, or you don't know me well, or even if you do, I'll start from the beginning so you're not left in the dark.

In the beginning....(just kidding, we wont go back that far.) After David & I were married and he decided that he wanted to start CrossFit FMS in Midland, TX we decided to seek out our options for insurance for our family. At the time I was working in real estate in a job that did not offer benefits, with him being self-employed he obviously didn't have benefits either so we began the search to see how we would attain health insurance being self-employed. This was in 2011 before the ACA act was in place. We found the policies we were able to qualify for and checked rates. They were expensive, but we expected that. What I didn't expect was the fact that we COULD NOT, no possible way, under no circumstances, be covered for Maternity coverage under an individual policy. They told me that the reason for this was that they were preparing their policies to be compliant for the ACA and therefore there were no riders for maternity on NON-GROUP policies. Since we were business owners we decided that we would attempt to create a group policy for our business. This would allow us to get maternity coverage but we were looking at around $3,500 a month in insurance for only my (young, fit, healthy) husband & I. So, that wasn't an option with us being such a small business. BUT, since we did not have children we decided it was best I leave my job (that I enjoyed and that I was pretty good at ifidosaysomyself) in order to take a job that would allow benefits. Knowing that I had some potential issues with conception (endometriosis, PCOS and some other more complicated medical stuff) I was hoping we would be able to start to try to conceive ASAP. Think of my uterus as a ticking time bomb. Just waiting to make me barren and sad. Okay, maybe that's dramatic. But, I put my real estate career on the back burner and took a job at a local bank in order to get insurance. I waited the three month period to be eligible for benefits and for the first time I had REAL LIFE HEALTH INSURANCE. Whoooop. So, we started to try and we were blessed with a beautiful, healthy, lovely baby girl in January of 2013. You can see her birth story here, if you want. At this point I was on COBRA coverage and I was paying about $900 a month JUST for me. So, thinking the worst was behind us (yanno, pregnancy and delivery) we switched to an individual policy with Humana on Febuary 1st, 2013. All was well, until on February 7th, 2013 (six days later) I got a DVT (blood clot) and PE (pulmonary embolism). Here I was on a brand new policy with a huge blood clot and a newborn. After they submitted my policy for review they decided I wasn't trying to screw the system (just, terribly unlucky) and I was prescribed six months of Lovenox injections.

Fast forward to today (May 2014). Harper is 17 months old and as you can see here, we are/were struggling with if we should be trying for another child. Feeling like we were ready to have another baby we decided we would be willing to start trying to conceive. Knowing the issues and the lengths I had to go to last time to have insurance that would cover my maternity care, that was forefront in my mind. I immediately called my insurance company (Humana) and asked them if my policy was able to be modified to include maternity coverage. They said no. Not, no you can pay a lot of money and we will do it, just simply no. They said that because of the new 'open enrollment' period of Obamacare that unless I meet a qualifying event (having a baby would be one, but only AFTER the baby is born.) that I can make NO changes to my individual insurance policy that I pay for myself.

Now, I consider the options that would be available to me if I decided to have a baby without maternity coverage. Because of my blood clotting issue I will need to be on blood thinners while I am trying to conceive, during my pregnancy, and 3-6 months post partum. That's at LEAST a year of blood thinners. Not just any blood thinners, either. LOVENOX, which I'm pretty sure is greek for "LIQUID GOLD OF THE GODS" or at least I assume that because of it's price point. Just for fun I call the pharmacy to see what it would cost me to pay out-of-pocket for it. He first had to ask a supervisor to even be able to find out how much medicine costs because AND I QUOTE "I've never had anybody pay for a prescription without insurance". Mr. Manager tells me I'm looking at about $3,000 a month for Lovenox. JUST for Lovenox. That's not including, doctors appointments, ultrasounds, high-risk doctors appointments, labs, delivery, etc. THAT'S JUST THE THINNERS. Well, as much as I'd like to think my money grows on trees (where I live leaves don't even grow on trees) I just cant swing that on a self-employed business single income family.

I called BCBS to see if they were able to write me a new policy and the same answer was, no. I would have to wait until open enrollment for 2015 and there was nothing they could do to change, modify, cancel, increase, etc, my insurance policy until that time.

So the government has told me when I am able to have, or not have, a child.

Because of the ACA and because my current policy is NOT compliant I cannot have maternity coverage. So, my next step was to call the Healthcare exchange themselves and ask for a special exception to see if I could qualify for the ability to change my own insurance policy.

I do not qualify for an exception. Pregnancy is not considered a life-altering event.

So, I ask the lady what my options are. Here was her answer...

"Well, maam, you can always apply for medicaid."

Right! I can always allow the tax payers to pay for my baby. So, I allow her to run my information to see if I qualify for medicaid for assistance. Here's what she says..

"I'm sorry ma'am, you are too much of a responsible, contributing member of society for us to qualify you for care you literally cannot get otherwise. AKA, you make too much money for us to help you."

Okay maybe those weren't her exact words, but you get the gist..

So, I think, hmmmm...what else could I do? Could I hire a midwife and birth at home? I call several local mid-wives, and nope, they wont take me due to my previous blood clot/health issues.

So, here I am. With my uterus clock tick-tocking and no ability other than to put serious financial strain on my family to have another baby. Every cycle that passes my endometriosis worsens, every cycle that passes my chances for endometrial cancer increases, every time that I have a cycle I am one less cycle away from being able to carry another child.

But an unplanned pregnancy from a girl that did not research her options, did not consider her fertility, did not need anything to be worked out for her to be able to be blessed with a child. This drug-addicted-high-school-drop-out who has several children and does not work qualifies for 100% of her maternity and even the first year of her child's life to be paid for by the taxpayers. But I don't. Because my Husband provides for his family well.

What's my point in all this? I guess just to let everybody know my day sucked. Haha. But really, I can't help but feel this system is inherently flawed. And that if the entire medical system was not SO dependent on the insurance system than people like myself would be able to afford to pay for medical procedures out of pocket. But until that day, I will do all I naturally can to keep my baby maker healthy and I will pray that if God does have another biological member of my family that He will provide a way for me to remain fertile until the government allows me to be pregnant again.

Here's to praying for favor, praying for hope, and praying that someday medical insurance will not be able to dictate the way people live their lives.

Fatworks

It might only be me (but I hope not) that growing up your mom/grandma had a little bowl (or coffee mug) with bacon grease to use to make gravy, or fry some okra. Haha, I sound like a redneck, I feel. But hey, that's the best food I've ever eaten in my life! Somewhere along the way I was lied to & told that eating fat was what made you fat & I never learned the art of using animal lard to cook. Well that changed when I was introduced to the paleo/primal lifestyle & read the Norishing Traditions book by Sally Fallon. (if you don't know what I'm talking about, check them out, PLEASE!)

So here we are learning the absolute beauty of cooking with fat! In search of some really great & beautiful rendered fat we came across Fatworks! 

It comes from healthy, happy, lovely animals & I am so proud to buy their product. It doesn't have a very strong taste (less than bacon grease or something you render yourself) but it serves it's purpose so well! Here's what the Fatworks website says about it,

"All our fats are crafted to be the single highest quality fats around. All the standard "no's" apply.  No hormones, no antibiotics, no pesticides, no feed lot animals, no gmo grains used and all the animals we source are pasture raised."

It's good stuff, y'all. Really good. Check it out, get you some really awesome fat & enjoy the fruits..er....fats of your labor :) 

The Taco

Today's recipe has been deemed by David 'the greatest thing I ever cooked' SO, he's either incredibly easy to please, or it's good. Probably both. Plus, he was starving. Anyways. Today we are cooking TACO's. Yay! I'm giving you a paleo and a non-paleo version so whatever fits your fancy you can use!

I think I told yall before that we go to the grocery store every week-day morning. We just get what we need to buy that day, and it makes it so much easier to not let things go bad. PLUS, i get to get out of the house for an hour which is pretty crucial to my sanity.

And ya, apparently we needed shiner for the day. Because, that's what happens when my husband goes with us.

First things first, taco meat seasoning. We make our own. I know I know....ITS EXPENSIVE TO BUY ALL THOSE SEASONINGS. Well, don't think about it. Hahaha. Im kidding, This spice mix recipe I'm giving you can be stored in an air-tight container for a MONTH! So, make the investment. It's SO so sososo much better than that pre-packaged garbage you buy from the box. If you make the commitment to feed your family from home you'll probably end up using these spices for lots of things. Make's you really fancy to use spices, did you know that? Well, you're welcome. I'm still waiting on my crown to arrive, but when it does, I'll let you know :)

SO, spices.

I obviously need to stop asking my husband to take my blog pictures for me, huh?

Use these spices to make your Taco Seasoning:

- 2 tablespoons of chili powder

- 1 tablespoon of grown cumin

- 2 teaspoons kosher salt (or more if you like salt)

- 1.5 teaspoons of smoked paprika

- 1 teaspoon of ground coriander

- 1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper

Then just stir to combine and you're ready to go!

Cool, now that you have your spice mix, let's make some tacos.

Ingredients - 

- A head of living butter lettuce (it's GOOD.)

- 3 roma tomatoes 

- 3 avocados 

- One block of RAW cheddar

- Package of corn tortillas

- 2 lbs of grass-fed gound beef

- 1 lemon for optional step

Brown your meat in a large skillet, this recipe makes a LOT because my husband eats for several grown men. But, it makes great left-overs or its very easy to make less if you'd rather.

Once browned, add in your seasoning mix. I used about 4 tablespoons, but you really just have to eyeball/taste this and use to your liking. 

Chop up your tomatoes and grate the cheese

This is an optional step, only if you want a little extra somethin-somethin. If you don't want to put forth the extra effort, by all means, just chop up your avocado and be merry. 

Scoop out your avocado into a bowl

Smash it with a fork

Squeeze half a lemon into bowl (or more depending on the amount of avocado and your preference

Lots of salt 

This makes a really yummy, little tangy, 'guacamole' for your tacos. 

Then steam your tortillas or cut up your butter lettuce to use as a wrap.

Set everything up and let everybody build their tacos! Yum!

Enjoy!

Oh, and ps- Peaches are at sprouts! NOM! Harper ate THREE yesterday. THREE!