Rando Posto

Hiiiiiii!

So, life is crazy. David has been working like crazy getting the box open & I've been all solo-parent with Harpy. It's so much fun & I love every single second buuuut it leaves basically zero time to blog. But, alas, I'm writing now. 

I've also felt sort of uninspired as of late. I guess things have been rather usual. I love routine & I thrive on predictability but I suppose it stifiles the excitement factor a bit. 

So, I thought I'd go through & show off some stuff I've been up to lately. I live in fear of being an over-poster on Facebook so I thought I'd go through my phone & see what I've kept off in order to keep from blowing up my newsfeed on the reg. 

First, I'll show some recipes I've been using lately. Everything has been rather simple as of late, so nothing fancy here. 

This is a staple in the Barnett house. Just a good ol fashioned rump/round/chuck roast in the crockpot. Salt, pepper, a cup of water & a bag of mini-carrots. On low for 6-7 hours. So easy, so good. 

Another thing I eat often is this simple salad. I use organic (raw) buttermilk with the simple organic ranch dressing packet for my dressing. The salad has Roma tomatoes, celery, avocado & mixed greens. It's SO GOOD. 

Organic canned cut green beans. Salted. Nom. I have a strange desire to eat them for breakfast so sometimes we have green beans & eggs in the morning & it's awesome. #dontjudgeme 

Salmon. Wrapped in foil with lemon slices & grassfedbutter in the oven for 20ish minutes. 

Hard-boiled eggs, apple-cider vinegar & salt sprinkled on top. 

Cool. That's what my food looks like this last couple weeks. Now. Pictures of muh baby, and maybe other things too. 

Sometimes Harper just lays random places for like, a solid minute. It cracks me up. 

One of the billion reasons I love co-sleeping. I get to wake up to this face. 

I'm reading this book right now. YALL. It's incredible. So, so, so good. If you're TTC, pregnant, breastfeeding or raising a baby, I highly recommend it. 

She never wears headbands. I wish she would leave them on, they look SO cute.

 JJ bought Harp a water table for Easter. We spend about 93% of our day outside. It's the bomb. Also, can you see her sass? "Take a picture for JJ Harp!" "-_-"

I think she may have CURLS! Eee!! 

Well, now that the winner for most random & weird blog post has been written, I bid you farewell. Haha. I'm kidding. But. Tell me. Is this cool? Would you rather me wait until I have specific things I wanna blog about or long detailed recipes to give? Or do y'all like my randomness?

Thank you for growing with me. I love you all, for real. 

Harper Quinn's birth story

I wrote Harper's birth story about a month after she was born. I emailed it to a couple of people that wanted to know but that was really pretty much the only time I read through it. Ever since I started this blog I have gotten so many messages of other mamas wanting to know my birth story. I get it. Because I freaking LOVE reading birth stories. I've never shared mine. And I can't really figure out why. I guess it's just personal & it's sort of a sensitive thing. But I sort of felt like mine wasn't a good ol fashioned crunchy birth story. Yanno, because I was induced and I had pitocin. I came to realize though that mama's dont always need to hear the amazing home/water birth stories that the birthing goddesses of the world had. Sometimes they need to hear about the yucky ones. That don't go as planned but turn out okay. I want mamas to know that EVEN THOUGH you are induced. EVEN THOUGH you have pitocin flowing through your veins for hours at a time and your contractions are much stronger than they ever would be naturally, that even though you are forced to lay on your back and arent able to move more than a couple of inches either way, that YOU DONT NEED AN EPIDURAL. And I feel like I'm living proof. And unfortunately, my birth experience (induction, pitocin, AROM, etc) is much more common than the beautiful simplicity of an unmedicated birth. And for that reason, I'm going to share my story. 

Once upon a time.....just kidding (kinda) I was a young newlywed, with a lame-o job that basically required me to sit in an office all day with minimal interaction. I was able to use the internet often and found the stumbleupon.com website. One day when I was 'working' I stumbled (literally LOL) upon the boho-babybump website. I read her birth story and just, swooned. I was like "WAIT! WHAT?" And alas, doors were opened, my mind expanded and I learned that birth wasn't some awful, screaming, ugly sickness. I was all crazy from then-on-out. I watched every documentary I could get my hands on. I read like a billion books. I was obsessed! So, I was educated on birth before I even got pregnant. I knew all about everything from lotus birth to elective cesarean sections. When I found out I was pregnant, my Husband & I saw my OBGYN (the same man that delivered me & has seen me since I was 10 years old. Yes, 10. Thats a post for another day) and we also checked out the local birth center & met with a midwife there. I met quite a bit of resistance from my family and loved-ones about the birth center option. After thinking & praying through it, we decided to go with my OBGYN & birth in the hospital. I knew this carried a certain amount of acceptance on my part as there were things I knew I wouldn't want to argue with & it may cause me to deviate in my birth plan, but it was how I felt most comfortable giving birth at this point & family support was very important to me with it being my first (and likely only) birth. David agreed that was important and being the great husband he is, supported me (David wanted us to have Harper at the birth center very badly). I had been tracking periods for years before the month we got pregnant. Naturally, I dropped my phone in a bowl of water in early April & lost all my data. So when I found out I was pregnant I wasn't 100% sure about my dates but I knew it was within a weeks time & figured it wouldn't be a big deal. My LMP put my due date at Dec 28. So baby grew, and I LOVED being pregnant. I got as big as a house and I waddled with the best of them. Well, due date day came & went. I saw my OBGYN on my due date and he began to push inducing. I really didn't want this but knew it was part of the route I chose. We scheduled induction for Jan 2nd & I was so upset. We were in the process of opening our new location in Midland of our CrossFit gym and my husband (who had come to basically every appointment before) wasnt able to make this one. If you know me, you know I cannot tell basically anyone no, so I obliged. I was scared and sad and did NOT want to be induced. I left my appointment & immediately started trying everything I knew to induce labor naturally. I googled. I walked on curbs and used my breast pump, I drank an obsurd amount of pineapple juice and danced around while doing squats. I picked up really heavy stuff, I tried resting. I went bowling. I went on a date. I ran. I really tried everything I possibly heard of to induce labor.  Nothing works. It was the day before New Year's Eve. We were at CrossFit FMS at 2 in the morning laying the new floors & I broke down. I told my husband I wasn't ready to be induced and that it felt wrong. He assured me we would talk to our Doctor and everything would be okay. We were scheduled to induce at 5 AM on Jan 2 and the Doctor's office was closed until 9 am on the 2nd, so i had no hope of getting to talk to our OB before we were already at the hospital to be induced & I knew they wouldn't let me be released. I cried & prayed I would go into labor naturally. My husband asked me to go to Lowe's with him at 6pm on Dec 31st to get some last minute things before they closed for the holiday. As we were walking around looking for some tool (my eyes puffy from crying) we round the corner and lo and behold, WE SEE DR WELSH! I couldn't believe my eyes. What in the WORLD is an OB/GYN doing at a hardware store on NEW YEARS EVE?! Thank you, God. Anyway, in true needy-pup fashion, we stopped him. I immediately started crying and David & I explained to him how we felt. Y'all, I love Dr. Welsh. He's a wonderful man & doctor and I really hope this story doesn't seem like he's the big bad OB that treats me like cattle. Sure, there's a lot of things I would do different, but he is wonderful. So, he agreed to let us go a few more days if we would agree to some testing (NST) to make sure baby was okay. He still wanted us there at the same time but said we would start with a NST & I could be released if everything was okay. I still didn't feel great but I was very relieved. At 7 PM on Jan 1, I received a call from the hospital letting me know dr welsh was ill & my appointment for induction had been rescheduled to Jan 7th! I was over the moon happy. SURELY this baby would make her appearance before then! So I waited. And waited. And waited. No baby. Jan 6th came & went and I was so sad. I'll never forget laying in bed the night before. Everything was silent & I just laughed. I just knew she would come before the 7th! I was so sad, I knew the risks of inducing. I knew pitocin made contractions much worse & it was harder to avoid pain meds. I knew I had a much higher risk of a c-section with an induction especially for a first time mom. But I felt out of options. That morning we had to be at the hospital at 8 am. We packed everything up, went & ate breakfast & went to l&d. We got checked in & settled in our room. Dr welsh came in & checked me & told me I was at a 2 and 75% effaced. We started prostaglandin gel at about 9:30. I layed in bed for an hour & then they let me get up at walk. I enjoyed this part. I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes but they were manageable, towards the end of our walk I needed to focus somewhat on them but really it was nothing bad. I came back to the room & the nurse checked me. I was a 3.5 & 90% effaced. I was thrilled! Progress! Maybe we wouldn't need pitocin after all. About 30 minutes later dr welsh came in. He casually told me he was going to break my water. I wasn't sure how I felt about this. Really, it didn't bother me for baby sake, but I knew I was on the clock at that point. David & I agreed that we would go ahead and let him break my water. It didn't hurt, but it was uncomfortable & I didn't like sitting in all the fluid. Also I was bed-bound at this point & wasn't allowed to get up at all. They were concerned about the cord prolapsing & they were having trouble getting a good read on Harper's heart rate & I 'needed' internal constant fetal monitoring. It was at this point I realized that the doctor wasn't really the problem. It was the hospital. All their policies & CYA that honestly the Doctor had little to no say in. The contractions intensified at that point and I really had to focus through them. Dr Welsh started pitocin about an hour later. They checked me after they started the drip & I was only at a 4. I was discouraged. I was in more pain than ever and making less progress. I knew they would be aggressive in upping the pit too. An hour later they increased the pit. They started me at 2 on the pitocin, when I got to a 6 on the pit they checked me again & I was still only a 4.5. I was begging for help at this point. The contractions were so bad, my body was shaking at the top of each one. I didn't think I could do it much longer. I'm a very quiet person & David said my eyes were closed the entire time. I remember starting to feel the contraction coming & I would just plead with God for some relief. Suddenly, when I had a contraction it felt like I needed to fight it. To flex my stomach when I had one. I told the nurse & asked her to check me. She told me no, that they just checked me and didn't want to introduce infection. I waited a few more contractions and asked again, this felt different! I was told no again. Every contraction for 30 minutes & finally the nurses started telling me to stop pushing. They told me if I wasn't careful I would cause swelling. The nurse checked me & I was at a 7! I couldn't believe it. The nurses couldn't either. They called dr welsh to tell him that I was making progress. About 4 or 5 contractions later my "urge" to push increased dramatically. I couldn't help it! I told the nurse. She gave me some long talk about how I shouldn't push when I'm not fully dilated and I wasn't going to be able to have my baby vaginally if I didn't quit. I begged & begged them to check me. They told me no, that it wasn't possible I was fully dilated & too much checking introduces infection. Finally, I convinced someone to check. (I think I told them I wouldn't ask ever again, haha). They checked and there was her head! The room grew crazy & everyone was yelling at me not to push. They called my doctor & told him to come quickly. He was FIFTEEN minutes away. That is the WORST of the entire experience. I wanted to push so badly. I did that silly "hee hee hooooo" breathing (which did nothing) and fought the urge to push with all I could. Finally, dr welsh came running in. I think I said "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" And I think he told me I was awesome, haha. I pushed twice, she presented with both fists by her head. Dr. Welsh said something about how that was rare & for a millisecond I worried. Then, One more push, David told me later Dr. Welsh maneuvered her little hands, they came first & then the rest and there she was!! Perfect, beautiful and crying. Harper Quinn was born January 7th at 6:00 PM at 7 lb 14 oz & 20.75 inches long. 

People often message me & ask me 'how I did it' & how to avoid getting an epidural. My first bit of advice is always, avoid induction. At all costs. Fight for your right to birth your baby the way you see fit. I've grown into myself more since having Harper & I know this me now would have asked more questions & pushed the envelope more. But, at the end of the day, the way to avoid getting an epidural is to avoid getting one. Haha. Just mind over matter. The baby will come out. The pain won't last forever. It's not ideal when you have artificial chemicals causing labor to be more intense, but it's not always a reason to add to that cocktail & take away the pain. 

Do I regret my birth? No. I'm actually pretty dang proud of it. Sure, I would do things different if I could but I think I'm able to relate to women that I will serve as a doula, I think I can have a better understanding of the effects of medicines because I felt them. I'm strong. And I'm proud. And I'm thankful. 

Do you have your birth story blogged? Link it to me in the comments. I would love to know your experience. Birth is so beautiful.