The Facebook Debate

Once upon a time, there was a girl. She had no babies, no overwhelming responsiblities. She wasn't particularly passionate about anything. And occasionally her friends on Facebook would announce they were deleting Facebook because of all the 'drama'. The girl would roll her eyes, announce (probably to herself alone) that 'nobody cares' and if you can't merely look the other way from what people post than it's probably best for you anyway. Time went on. The girl grew the sweetest baby in her belly. One day, she birthed that baby with no epidural & they struggled to breastfeed. She worked harder on birthing & nursing that baby than she had ever worked on anything ever, in her whole life, combined. She read literally dozens of books. She wrote papers & took classes & engulfed herself in the world of natural/attachment/hippie parenting. It became her passion! Her only real tangible passion. She was blessed with a Velcro baby that needed her often. She nursed that baby for 24 hours straight. Her only source of entertainment while the baby slept. Or nursed. Was her phone & the tv. She spent a lot of time on Facebook. Her passion gradually grew to show on Facebook. She was so proud! And then she realized, people were de-friending her. People were making statuses about her! People were calling her 'ignorant' and 'judgemental' and it hurt the girl! She didn't want people to dislike her. She loved these people! People she thought were perfectly civil & nice would message her horrible & rude threads of condemnation & hate. They told her that her passion for breastfeeding was short sided & that formula moms were offended by her 'boasting' about breastfeeding. She decided that she had to decide, she could continue on & drive a rift further in her life while she realized she knew basically no other women that parented the way she did. Or, she could shut-up about it. Live life the way she wanted & not talk about it on social media. Or, she could delete her Facebook. She could only interact with people that wanted to interact with her. Not that those people needed to have similar ideals, but at least the effort would be conscious & worthwhile. 

If you haven't caught on, the girl I'm talking about is me. Lol. This has been a struggle for me for awhile now. I go back & forth on what is really the 'best thing'. Starting this blog was really my first step. I could still share photos of my baby, and connect with people. But not have to deal with the shear negativity on a regular basis. 

I know what you're going to say, probably, "who cares! Post away! They are the ones with the problem, not you. De-friend them. Ignore them." And I know what you are saying. I agree! But you see, i don't want to. I want to just really say how I feel. But then, I want to be Christ-like. I want to love these people that disagree so fervently. I don't want them to see me as hateful or close-minded. I want to serve them. And I'm still trying to figure out what that looks like. 

Perhaps, it's just a stage of my life. Right now I am engulfed in boobs & diapers & it's real & raw & I'm living it. But maybe someday when our babies are older & time has changed our minds in the gentle waves of life, I won't feel so strongly. I won't want to shout from the rooftops that I did what I think is best. Best for me, best for you, best for everyone. I don't like the feelings I have. I don't like the way the spur such strong emotions. I want to be rational, and loving. At all times. But right now, I don't have that self-control. 

I've been praying and I think it's best I step away. I put my phone, my computer, my Facebook, away. I spend the energy that normally do holding my breath & biting my tounge to just live this life I'm so passionate about.  

Rest assured, all 10 blog followers, I will keep this blog updated (most likely better, without the distraction of facebook). I will keep my Instagram so you can see pictures of the chubster.

 I think I just need a place to live where I feel accepted. Where I feel validated. Where I don't feel like a crazy person for breastfeeding my 15 month old. Where I can sleep with my sweet baby & not be told I'm putting her life (or her future ability to be independent) at risk. I want to enjoy the life I'm so passionate about. Sometimes I feel like such a vigilante that I can't just enjoy what I enjoy so much (does that make any sense at all?) and for me, I think that's to just dismiss myself from the screen & get out & walk the walk (literally!)

 I'm asking for your thoughts. I'd love to know your input. Have you ever struggled with this? What worked for you?

Thank you for your comments & your ideas! They are welcome & appreciated. 

When God rolls His eyes at me

You know when you were in high school/college and you were late to class but you had to go anyway? And you dreaded to walk in because you knew the ENTIRE class would all *whip* around and judge you and call you terrible names in their heads and think about how sloppy you looked??

...no? Just me? Haha. Anyway, that's sort of how I feel writing this today. It's like, "oh hey, blogger, nice seeing you around here again." 

But I have REASONS people! I really do. Want to know? Too bad, I can't tell you yet. HAHA! Just kidding. I'll tell you. We are in the process & have applied for a new CrossFit affiliate here in Lubbock. YAY! We are in the throws of opening another small business & dealing with everything that comes with that. Surprisingly enough, this was not our plan. David & I both thought he would get a job with a regular schedule & benefits & all the stability that comes with somebody else being the boss. BUT God continued to shut those doors. Everytime we thought we had landed something awesome it would go radio silent. We began to pray that God would speak loudly about what we were supposed to be doing. *silence* 

Que my toddler-tantrum here "BUT GOD!! WE LISTENED. WE CAME TO LUBBOCK LIKE YOU SAAAAID! And now we're here and You just...FORGET ABOUT US!" Hahahahaha. I know. I'm a tad dramatic. 

Without going into too much detail and risking giving details about people that don't want their lives read by people they don't know on the internet (lol). One day, David & I were sitting in the living room thinking over what our next step was. Do we move back to midland? Move somewhere else? Sell everything & move to India? (Yes, it was considered, ha) David said, "why don't we just open another box." 

UGHHHH. You see, I grew up in a 'self-employed' family. Our insurance always sucked, I heard my sweet daddy pray for things like higher sales & lower wholesale prices. I overheard conversations about the IRS & taxes & money that to my soul screamed 'instability'. When I married my dream-man, we talked about how we would not go down that path. ANDTHENWEDID. And I was angry, scared, and doubtful. David, being the amazing man he is, reassured me that as long as we kept God the center, paid our taxes, and did our best to serve people, the stability would appear. Just like my parents did (and do). And guess what? He was right. We started our tiny little business in Midland & it grew & grew & grew & God's hands were ALL over it. And it was good. But then we sold it! WHEW. I thought. Dodged that 'self-employed' business stuff & now we will be all safe & warm & in no debt & David can work his little job & we will have all sort of predictability & budget-friendly paychecks, and YAY! 

But alas, God calls me out of my stinking little comfort zone & says "I HAVE BIGGER THINGS." 

So, back to earlier, we are sitting on the couch, and David just starts thinking out loud. "Well, Alison is a commercial real estate agent." (our life transformation group leader at E-life.) "Steven is in a transitional spot with CrossFit, maybe he would want to partner." "Let's just start looking into it & see if God opens these doors." 

Ughh...they were like, opened & full of shining light & angels singing. "Oh, hiiii God!" Sometimes I feel like He's just sitting there, all beautiful & wonderful, and He just rolls His magnificent eyes at me. When I'm all "OH! THIS IS WHERE HE WANTS US!" Hahaha. 

But, regardless, the second place we looked at, was perfect & awesome. Steven & his wife Alyssa (who are basically the sweetest, most Godly people, ever) were excited to come on board with us. Money came out of the sky when we needed it. (Well, okay, maybe not literally, but it was provided graciously & interest free) and it just seemed like doors were flying open at every turn. 

Then, one night this week, I realized. Of course, this is where David needs to be. I thought, "Self, look at the lives that David has changed. Look at the GIFT he has for motivation & fun & training people to do things they have never even dreamed of doing before." 

Then I accepted it. And I am so excited. And so proud. And so incredibly grateful to a God that is patient & loving & patient. Haha. He has His sweet, pierced, beaten Hands ALL OVER THIS PLACE. And we are thankful, and grateful, and floored to have this opportunity again. It's bigger and better, and I am so excited to see what we can do to serve this community we are loving so much. 

So, friends! HERE WE GO! If you're in lubbock, I pray you'll join us in this journey, and if you're not, I'll keep you as updated as I can via this blog, and I will do my very best to not go weeks without updating again. Heh. 

And, here's the recent pictures of Harper & what she's been up to. Since I know she's the best part of everybody else's life, too. 

WE FINALLY GOT SOME TEETH PEOPLE! 14.5 months, and 3 teeth at one time. It's how we roll. 

We had a haboob. I forgot how much I hate your wind, Lubbock. 

This is why we take about 15 baths a day. Haha. 

Yaaaaallllllllllll- she is so sweet. This picture shows pretty much what she looks like all day, everyday. Smiling, blurry & walking towards me. 

Isn't she magical? 

Well, with that, I'm gonna sign off. May God be with you this week! Anything big going on in your life? Message me! Id love to pray with you, or for you, or about you, or whatever. Mainly, I'm just a lonely stay at home mom that has time to maintain slightly awkward online relationships. So, indulge me. Hahaha. I'm kidding. Sorta. 

Till next time, 

Hallye Jaye

Bobby's Famous Lasagna

Hi y'all!

Firstly, I'm sorry for the delay in posting. We have some exciting things going on in our family & my sweet mother-in-law is here all week so we've been busy!

I'll start off with yesterday's recipes!

For breakfast -

"Tort-ill-eggs"

Pan fry some bacon or sausage in a skillet. We found some organic bacon st sprouts (Score!) so, keep your eyes peeled. 

Cut up some corn tortillas into thin strips

Once your bacon/sausage is good & ready remove it from the pan. Leave your hot greasy pan there! 

Put in your tortilla strips & FRYYY them! Crisps. Like, the crunchier the better. 

Then, once they are all crispy, remove them into a small bowl on the side. 

Beat 4 or more eggs to your liking & put a small dollop of butter in your pan (if needed) & pour your eggs in to scramble. Once they start to thicken, add in your crispie tortillas! 

Finish up your eggs & serve with avocado & tomatoes. NOM.

Lunch:

Ham melts

So. Easy.

Piece of rye bread 

Pile on ham

Put a slice of Swiss on top of ham

Put in oven set to broil until cheese is melty & awesome.

Add mayo/mustard (optional)

Nowwww for the main event!

David's dad makes some freaking AMAZING lasagna. He was here on Monday & i tried my best to learn the craft while he made it for us. I did my best to record the recipe & got some nice pictures! Let me know if you try it & how it comes out. All ingredients below are organic & purchased at sprouts.

Makes 2 pans (9in x 13in) 

In a large pot coat bottom of the pan in olive oil. 

Saute one large onion (cook until soft)

Most of a bulb of garlic (about a cup) 

Add Italian sausage & Ground beef (let it mostly brown)

Tomatoes (Canned chunky tomato sauce) 

Continue to heat for awhile

Add about a cup FRESH finely diced parsley 

⅓  cup of FRESH diced oregano

¼ cup of FRESH basil 

continue to simmer sauce for three hours (very low simmer) 

Get a large bowl to mix cheese

16 oz of freshly grated mozzarella 

16 oz of ricotta

24 oz of cottage cheese 

¾ cup of finely grated parmesan

¼ cup of freshly chopped parsley  

 Mix well

Boil water in large pot 

Add pasta (make according to box’s directions)

Add “thin sauce” (fatty water base from top of sauce pot) to base of baking pan then layer pasta, sauce, cheese, three layers deep and three across. 

On the very  top sprinkle on a little bit of parmesan to create a “crust” on top.

Bake at 350 for about 40 mintues. 

Y'all it's life changing good! Plus, it freezes well & is soooo good for leftovers! 

So, hopefully this helps y'all get an idea for how our kitchen works! 

In personal news- 

Thank you!!! For all your love & support from my last post. I have loved hearing your stories & opinions. We are really praying about our adoption & I'm excited to see where God is taking us. 

Oh, I cut 7 inches off my hair today. And I feel about 300 pounds lighter. Whew.

I mean really? ^ look at how sweet they are. Aren't they freaking identical?Gawd I love it.

Harper's Daddy reads her "Brown Bear Brown Bear" about a billion times a day. Every time she puts her little feet on his & lays her head on his knee. I just can't even handle the sweetness! Daddy's girl, for sure.

Ooooookay, I am headed to bed, but stay tuned for some pretty amazing & exciting news, soon! 

In His hand,

Hallye Jaye 

The Baby Barnett Decision

Hey yall! Whoa! I didn't expect this many followers so quickly, but I am pumped. Thank you a million times over. This is so much fun for me. And hey, maybe it will curb my enthusiasm to over-post on facebook, ha.

Anywho, today is cheat day in the Barnett house. Saturday is the one day a week that we eat out and don't live by the rules. Its pretty healthy for us, i think. Especially me, haha. I mean 3 meals a day, 6 days a week can wear a mama out, amiright?

So, sadly I wont have any awesome recipes to share today. But, I thought I might take these days to talk. Sort of let you in on where we are in our life and what's going on with us. Shall we?

So, Harper is obviously a breastfed little pup. We love nursing. She is still nursing about every 30 minutes (albeit short spurts) throughout the day and two-six (yes, thats 2 to 6 times, lol) at night depending on her mood. I have always responded to her ques as quickly as possible. I recently came to understand that Harper fits the classification of a "high-needs" baby almost 100%. I've been reading Dr. Sears book "The Fussy Baby" and it has helped give me tremendous insight into her little brain and helped me in times that I feel like I couldn't be needed/touched/etc any more. If your baby is similar, feel my sympathies.

BUT, in the last week or so she has finally started to allow me to sneak away from her when she is asleep. Ya, you read that right. Babygirl is 14 months old and just this week has decided mama doesn't need to hold her the entire time for her to sleep. She went a FULL hour and half today without mama needing to cuddle, and I can honestly say I didn't know what to do with myself! haha. But OMG its a beautiful thing.

In other news, we are starting to talk about what our Barnett Baby #2 is going to look like! Haha, not physically (well, I guess in a way...) but if #2 will be biological or adopted, and when. You see, mama's baby-maker isn't so great. I have endometriosis, PCOS and Extreme Elevated Factor VIII (blood clotting disorder). SO, what that means is, It's hard to conceive, its hard to carry to term and IF all of those happen to work out, I am very high risk for complications and have to be on serious blood thinners for the entirety of the pregnancy and 3-12 months post partum. So, thats fun.


I absolutely loved being pregnant with Harper. She was a bit of a surprise, knowing what we know ^^, but I also knew that she was more than likely our only bio baby and I SOAKED-it-up being pregnant. Her birth was less that exactly what I had wanted/planned but I believe I did the best I could considering the circumstances. (Induced, no epidural) But, after her birth I developed eight blood clots (DVT) and PE. I wasn't aware of my blood clotting issue until then.

39 Weeks with Harper Quinn

So, we are now going through the motions of what we should be looking at for future babies. The thing that I find so frustrating with this is mainly that it's very difficult to know you probably COULD have another baby, but are choosing to instead, have a total hysterectomy instead. **brakes** Sorry - let me explain. You see, because of that pesky blood clotting disorder I have, I cant take birth control. Yep, you read that right! I cannot take any form of hormonal birth control. (Whomp whomp whommppp) Which, really is annoying for anyone, BUT, I also have that other pesky little endometriosis thang. And guess how they manage/treat that? Birth control. HA. So, heres the tango - Since I cannot take birth control my endo will progress further and further with every cycle. This puts me at a high risk for further complications, fertility and even cancer. SO we can't just let it get worse. Now, I have been able to delay the inevitable thus far with the lovely help of LAM (delayed periods thanks to breastfeeding!) so, thats the good news. Now, if we are going to make the decision to not proceed with any more biological children, my OB/GYN highly suggests I proceed with a hysterectomy to reduce my risk for complications from my endometriosis.

I feel like im being whiney. Please, don't think I'm sad. I absolutely LOVE my life, I don't consider this a burden whatsoever. Its merely a complicated, difficult, decision.

SO, here's where we are at. I am thinking both David & I are at peace with having Harper be our only biological child. We are starting to look at our adoption options and that in itself is a huge deal. Domestic vs International? Newborn vs Toddler? Private vs Foster? Shesh. We are praying right now that God opens doors and shows us where he needs us.

So, anyway, now that I've bored you to death with all my decisions, ha. What is going on with you? Where are you at in your life? Link me to your blog in the comments, or message me on facebook. I love connecting with you guys and I am so excited to be a part of this community of women!

PS- If you have any words of wisdom or advice on anything we touched here, I am more than happy to hear what you have to say!

PSS - Here's a really cute picture of my baby.

In His hand,

Hallye

Welcome!

Hi friends!

I'm so excited about this adventure. I have been an avid blog follower for years and always wanted one of my own, but never felt very inspired about anything to specifically write about. But, I finally do and I am stoked!

So, let me just get this part of this out of the way and tell you a little about me and what I want to do here!

I'm Hallye. Pronounced HAL-E (like, Halle Berry? Hallie?) About 95% of the time people pronounce my name incorrectly. So there is that. I am wife to David and Mama to my sweet Harper Quinn. About two years before Harper was born I stumbled (literally! I was on stumbleon.com, lol) a blog called Boho Baby Bump. I read her birth story and basically fell in love with her life, HAHA. So, anyway, I started to explore the natural parenting thang, and lo and behold, here I am living my own version of our crunchy life and loving loving loving every second.

So, what does crunchy mean? I dont know, exactly. But if I had to guess it means you fix everything with breastmilk and coconut oil and do everything about as weird as possible. Ha. But really, heres what google says:

Crunchy Mama (defined): “Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions medical authority; tends to be VEGETARIAN (hhahahaha) and/or prepares all-organic foods.”

So, other than the fact that we eat a ridiculous (like, really. ridiculous.) amount of meat, thats basically me ^.

Meanwhile, my husband started and sold a CrossFit gym where we lived in Midland, Texas and we relocated to Lubbock, TX. I LOVE lubbock. We are so happy here and can't wait to see what God has in store for us here!

Now, pre-harper Hallye was a mythical creature of sorts. I ate well, I was into CrossFit, I worked, yadah yadah. Then came my sweet little miracle child (more on that later) and rocked my world in the best (and worst) of ways. But here she was. And she needed me. BOY, did she need me. Tiny Harper would go LITERALLY (not.exaggerating.) 24 hours nursing. Like attached to boob, for 24 hours. It was impressive, to say the least. So, I relied heavily on frozen and drive through meals. At this time, David was working crazy hours and I was just happy if I was able to put food in my face by the end of the day. Time went on, Harper grew and nursed less (sorta, haha). And I was able to get my feet on the ground again. Then, we moved and uprooted pretty much everything we knew and landed here in Lubbock. I used the "we just moved" excuse for way too long. Then, one of the bloggers I followed little boy's died from contaminated meat. It was a huge wake-up call that we were not living the way that God designed us to live, that I was NOT serving my temple (my body) well, and that being a stay-at-home mom, I could suck it up and cook for my family. So, I sat down and decided we would eat local/organic meals that I cooked AT HOME 6 days a week. Because i'm a stay at home mom and always looking for an excuse to leave the house, I have made it my routine to plan my days meals in the morning and we go to the store and buy what is needed that day. It helps keep me from wasting fresh items and keeps me honest.

So, alas, heres what we had today!

Keep in mind that these are designed to feed 3 people. So, if you need to mess with the recipe you can get more/less based off what I used. Also, all the items I mention being store-bought are from Sprouts, here in Lubbock.

Breakfast: (I will start taking pictures of all meals).

I cooked six organic/free-range eggs in about 2 tbsp of grass-fed butter. Then, I lightly toasted six pieces of organic bread (we like this brand). Then, I lightly covered them in homemade mayonnaise and placed the eggs on the bread. Viola, egg sandwiches. SO. easy. and I freaking love them.


Lunch:

David had a business meeting at lunch, so Harper and I just had grilled cheeses. David is the grilled cheese MASTER. So, you'll have to ask him for the specifics, but the ingredients were the organic american cheese slices (found here) the bread referenced above & grass-fed butter. Simple, easy, and awesome.

Dinner:

I used the recipe found here: http://www.food.com/recipe/creamy-cajun-chicken-pasta-39087

I modified it to use all organic ingredients and even was able to use the cream from a local, grass-fed cow. BOOM. Found here (SUPPORT THEM!)


Thank you for reading! May God bless you and here's to writing about organic food and happy babies! Goodnight!